I know what it's like to feel conflicted about sex after having kids.
I, too, was stressing about it. I wanted to want sex but I didn't.
I needed to have a drink or two before I could relax enough to enjoy myself.
I wanted my partner to be happy and yet I felt a pressure that caused resentment.
I was frustrated with myself because of my desire to please and my difficulty with saying "no", and I was getting mad at my partner.
I would get in the mood after things got started and I would tell myself "I need to remember this" (you know-like going to the gym- you don't really want to go, but once you are there you get into it) only to have it not work next time.
I felt broken.
I was exhausted from caring for everyone and sex was one more thing on my "to do" list, usually at the bottom.
I was avoiding circumstances that could lead to sex. Hugging, kissing and making eye contact decreased and I started going to bed at a different time than my partner.
Sex became the elephant in the room, and both my partner and I were awfully aware of it.
That was me....
That stressful and painful place killed all the fun and intimacy in my most important relationship.
Until one day, I decided NO MORE and I made myself a promise.
I promised myself I would figure this out for my sake and the sake of so many women that live in fear and worry of what will happen to their relationship or marriage if they can not keep this up forever.
And I did.
I figured it out.