WORK WITH ME
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Desire is multifaceted.
Connection is only one piece of the puzzle.
You can love your partner and still not want sex.
You can feel close and still feel resistant to sex.
Low desire is not necessarily a relationship problem.
This doesn't mean your relationship has no influence on your sexuality.
It means you are allowed to look beyond your relationship.
Maybe the problem is not your connection with your partner.
Maybe the problem is your connection with yourself and with sex, or the lack of.
TWO WAYS TO WORK WITH ME
YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT SEX MATTER.
What do you actually believe about sex?
Do you believe sex is important in a relationship or do you believe sex is a duty in a relationship?
Do you know how to experience pleasure or do you believe sex is mostly something your partner wants?
Do you believe that wanting sex makes a woman needy or selfish or do you feel empowered by your sexuality?
Do you feel guilty when you say no or uncomfortable when you say yes?
Your answers to these questions matter.
Because you may have a loving partner and a healthy relationship but still have a negative relationship with sex.
And that negative relationship with sex can absolutely affect your desire. Maybe your partner isn't the missing piece.
You may not need to work harder on your relationship. You may not need more date nights.
You may not need to force yourself to feel more emotionally connected. Maybe the relationship is actually okay.
Maybe the problem is your relationship with sex.
TWO WAYS TO WORK WITH ME
YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF MATTER TOO.
You've talked.
You've worked on your relationship.
You've spent quality time together.
You've gone on dates.
And yet, you still don't really want to have sex.
Sometimes, the reason you are not feeling desire has very little to do with how much you love your partner.
Sometimes, the reason you are not feeling desire has very much to do with how you feel about yourself.
How do you talk to yourself?
Do you like yourself?
Do you feel comfortable in your body?
Do you feel worthy of pleasure?
Do you feel confident enough to be seen?
It's difficult to be open and sexually vulnerable when you feel badly about yourself.
When your inner dialogue is constantly critical, when you're judging yourself, when you're constantly monitoring your body and worrying about how you look, your brain gets busy trying to protect you from shame.
And when your brain is focused on protecting you, it is not particularly interested in helping you experience pleasure.
Maybe the next place to look is inside yourself.
TWO WAYS TO WORK WITH ME
These 4 Habits Could Be Hurting Your Libido.
So many of us engage in these four behaviors, and you are about to find out what they are, and how they impact your libido!
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